Friendships play a fundamental role in a child’s emotional and psychological development, particularly between the ages of 9 and 12. During this pre-adolescent phase, peer relationships become increasingly important, influencing self-esteem, social skills, and overall mental wellbeing. Research has shown that strong friendships contribute to resilience, reducing anxiety and depression risks, while social difficulties can lead to feelings of isolation and stress.
The Importance of Friendships for Mental Wellbeing
At this stage of development, children start to seek validation from their peers, and friendships provide a sense of belonging. Studies indicate that children with close friendships experience higher levels of happiness and lower stress levels (Parker & Asher, 1993). Positive social connections foster emotional regulation and problem-solving skills, helping preteens navigate conflicts and challenges more effectively.
Additionally, peer relationships serve as a buffer against stress. A study published in Developmental Psychology found that children who reported having at least one close friend were better equipped to handle school-related stress and anxiety (Bagwell et al., 2001). This suggests that even a single strong friendship can have a protective effect on a child’s mental health.
The Role of Friendship in Social and Emotional Learning
Developing and maintaining friendships requires essential social and emotional skills, such as empathy, cooperation, and communication. Research by Rubin, Bukowski, and Bowker (2015) highlights that children who engage in positive peer interactions develop greater emotional intelligence, which supports mental health in adolescence and beyond.
Friendships also provide a safe space for self-expression. Preteens often confide in friends about their worries, experiences, and emotions. This exchange of thoughts and feelings helps them process their emotions and build a sense of identity. Conversely, loneliness and social rejection can have negative effects, leading to increased stress and self-doubt (Ladd, 2006).
Challenges and Risks in Peer Relationships
While friendships offer significant benefits, they can also be a source of stress when conflicts arise. Bullying, social exclusion, and peer pressure are common challenges that can impact a child’s self-esteem and mental wellbeing. The rise of digital communication has introduced new dynamics, with cyberbullying becoming a growing concern. A United Nations report highlights that over a third of young people in 30 countries have reported being cyberbullied, with 1 in 5 skipping school because of it (United Nations, n.d.).
Parents and educators play a crucial role in guiding children through these social challenges. Teaching conflict resolution strategies, promoting kindness, and encouraging open communication about friendships can help children develop healthy relationship patterns.
How to Support Healthy Friendships
- Encourage open discussions: talking about friendships at home and in school helps children understand the importance of mutual respect and support.
- Model positive social behaviors: children learn by observing how adults interact. Demonstrating empathy, active listening, and problem-solving can help them navigate their own friendships.
- Provide opportunities for social interaction: extracurricular activities, team sports, and group projects create environments where friendships can develop naturally.
- Teach resilience: helping children cope with disagreements and setbacks in friendships can prevent long-term emotional distress.
Conclusion
Friendships are a vital component of mental wellbeing in children aged 9-12. Strong peer connections promote self-confidence, emotional regulation, and social competence, while challenges in friendships can lead to stress and anxiety. By fostering healthy relationships and providing children with the tools to navigate social interactions, parents, teachers, and communities can support the mental wellbeing of preteens.
References
Prinstein, M. J., Rancourt, D., Guerry, J. D., & Browne, C. B. (2009). Peer reputations and psychological adjustment. In K. H. Rubin, W. M. Bukowski, & B. Laursen (Eds.), Handbook of peer interactions, relationships, and groups (pp. 548–567). The Guilford Press.
Ladd, G. W. (2005). Children’s Peer Relations and Social Competence: A Century of Progress. Yale University Press.
Parker, J. G., & Asher, S. R. (1993). “Friendship and Friendship Quality in Middle Childhood: Links with Peer Group Acceptance and Feelings of Loneliness and Social Dissatisfaction.” Developmental Psychology, 29(4), 611–621.
Rubin, K. H., Bukowski, W. M., & Bowker, J. C. (2015). Children in peer groups. In M. H. Bornstein, T. Leventhal, & R. M. Lerner (Eds.), Handbook of child psychology and developmental science: Ecological settings and processes (7th ed., pp. 175–222). John Wiley & Sons, Inc..
United Nations. (n.d.). Child and Youth Safety Online | United Nations. https://www.un.org/en/global-issues/child-and-youth-safety-online
United Nations. (n.d.). Child and Youth Safety Online | United Nations. https://www.un.org/en/global-issues/child-and-youth-safety-online
