Constantly changing technologies, emerging innovations, social networks encourage society to compare itself to each other, to be better and better. Although perfectionism often does not seem like a bad trait, this trait has an impact on emotional exhaustion and self-esteem problems. The younger generation in particular suffers from perfectionism and often the desire to do everything flawlessly leads young people to burnout, and sometimes depression. Social networks, a high learning load and societal expectations shape the “be the best” culture.
Perfectionism and its impact on adolescent health
Scientists divide perfectionism into normal (adaptive) and neurotic (maladaptive). According to them, normal perfectionists are people who feel pleasure in performing activities that require effort, they are able to accept themselves as they are and understand that the process of achieving a goal can bring pleasure. A neurotic perfectionist does not feel pleasure in achieving a goal, he never feels good enough. Perfectionists who have not had constant support from the environment become neurotic. In such an environment, a person does not receive feedback to evaluate his performance in the context of external standards, and therefore he has doubts and anxiety. Neurotic perfectionism, according to scientists, is an endless cycle of effort, dissatisfaction and failure, because a teenager is always looking for recognition and approval, setting unrealistic goals.
Studies conducted by scientists in Western culture emphasize that parental expectations and criticism are the main factors of maladaptive perfectionism, meaning that gifted children perceive parental expectations and criticism as pressure, which causes more anxiety and self-doubt.
Gifted adolescents prone to adaptive perfectionism have positive experiences related to perfectionism. For them, order and system help them achieve their goals. Personal growth and fulfillment of potential are important for such adolescents. In their opinion, success depends on themselves. Parents of gifted adolescents prone to adaptive perfectionism are involved in their child’s upbringing – they raise expectations, help and support them in case of success and failure. Gifted adolescents prone to maladaptive perfectionism have negative experiences related to perfectionism. They experience perfectionism as a need for order and system, but along with it they also distinguish feelings of anxiety about the future, fear of making mistakes and tension that prevent them from achieving their goals. Such adolescents tend to believe that their personal qualities are unchanging and focus their time and efforts on maintaining their image and striving for well-being. These teenagers do not feel fully responsible for their achievements, they attribute success more to external factors. Parents of gifted teenagers prone to maladaptive perfectionism are not fully involved in their child’s education, and feedback is provided only in case of success.
Perfectionism can motivate a young person to improve, achieve goals, but it can also make them anxious, afraid of making mistakes, and disappointed. In recent years, it has been observed that perfectionism is extremely harmful to the younger generation, when their personality is still forming and their self-confidence is not high. Since students spend most of their time at school, education is extremely important to them. Teenagers try to study as well as possible in order to pass exams with the highest scores and get into their dream university. Constant efforts to study well and exams make young people anxious and afraid of making mistakes. It is often heard that parents and teachers still value grades and exam results more than the learning process itself, which also affects students’ emotional well-being. Perfectionism debilitates teenagers, because they often feel tension and anxiety, fear of making mistakes and disappointing their parents or teachers.
Adolescence is a sensitive stage, so the self-esteem of teenage perfectionists depends on their results. Constant stress affects emotional exhaustion, depressed mood, social isolation, poor well-being (headaches, stomachaches, increased heartbeat), and can even lead to eating disorders.
Perfectionism negatively affects the motivation and work capacity of adolescents – they find it difficult to concentrate, make mistakes more often, have difficulty making decisions, and become indifferent to activities that used to bring joy. Teenagers become more irritable – they get disappointed more quickly, react more sensitively to everything, start to think that they are failures because they can no longer cope with tasks, feel emotionally exhausted, avoid people, and become socially isolated. Sometimes teenagers compensate for constant tension and anxiety by overeating, impulsive shopping, or excessive involvement in social networks.
Perfectionism also harms the physical health of teenagers – they feel constantly tired, have trouble sleeping, experience headaches and muscle tension, their immune system weakens, so they get sick more often, and their appetite changes.
How to help teenagers manage perfectionism?
Adolescence is a particularly sensitive stage when personal identity is being formed, great attention is paid to self-searching, and the opinions of peers. Therefore, it is particularly important for parents and guardians to support their children, help them control perfectionism by emphasizing and praising the process itself, not the result, and by talking about the fact that making mistakes is natural and we learn from mistakes. Teachers and other members of the school community should create a favorable and safe learning environment in which mistakes are considered part of learning, constantly implement emotional literacy programs, and teach adolescents various stress management techniques. It is also no less important that adolescents themselves are able to set realistic goals, be able to plan time and prioritize, know how to relax, do breathing exercises, and be physically active, as this is related to good emotional health.
These days, much attention is paid to emotional health, which determines the quality of our lives. People are increasingly talking about human imperfection and that it is normal to not know, to make mistakes and to try again, but young people still have difficulty understanding that it is not results or grades that tell a person’s story, but efforts, growth, development and the process itself that help a young person become what they want to be.
